poly AMOR us
Poly Amor Us
Hmmm .... Interesting to find that word in MY FAVORITES on the comp . who was searching it ? I wondered at first , but then more importantly was as I read about the word , the idea of it being a PHILOSOFY ( however you spell it .. ) ...love as a philiosphy .. hmm interesting the idea as said by many many people that men and women see the SEX act differently for the women it is a show of love an expression of love ...( whatever love is honeslty whatever love is ,, it is a word that has meaning from the point of view of your ,, your experience ..... are you the PENETRATOR or the penetrated ? ) so the idea that love is a philosophy that is what I got ,, I wondered again about ... yes love I love the women in my life that I have today ,, the girl I pledged to be in a 1 on 1 with ,,, I must have started to write about the poly because the 1 on 1 was breaking down , I felt like I was going down the same old road as before ... the idea of DOM/sub it seemed disappeared , fault is not important except that I take my share .......... And honestly in that the DOM/sub relationship was failing was my fault ,,,, my want to see her smile ........that is pure SUBMISSIVE behavior on my part ... hmmm interesting . We both had started our relationship committed to being different and I allowed us to go down the same old road ....
.. kiss kiss I just make the noise and she stops everything her important project , stops right in her tracks and turns to come back to give me a kiss ...... the idea that from the tone of my voice she could sense I thought her actions were a buck and she goes and does the thing I wanted ,,, it makes me wonder ..... the devotion the idea ... the idea that when I allow my self be natural and I enjoy seeing her .. squirm in discomfort she gets devoted to me .... And I let myself like it .... Do the evil thing to like seeing some one in discomfort .... And admit it ... hmmmm interesting I am in reality doing the BEST THING .. but do I enjoy discomfort as part of nature ? YES ,,, my forcing my hard dick in her pussy is discomfort ... that gasp every girl makes when we enter them , the shock of penetration ! a good ahrd fucking the type of fucking that every girl really likes ,,, AS per data girl like good hard fuckings ) given the choice between long slow and soft , versus hard strong and true ... if they could only have it one way for the rest of their lives .... Only 1 way - not a reality just an question ... the choose hard and true .. why why ?? the girls knew they can self stimulate to get off during the hard and true and get off cumm harder and better , that being stuck the rest of their lives with slow caring and soft where they also have to self stimulate to get off and never feel passion .... True desire animal desire ... hmmmm so why does my nice guy worry so much about her smile? When in reality I do not understand what makes a girl smile ... I AM NOT A GIRL .... How can I really understand them ... so be myself animal self and guess what they are happiest ! then and only then .
THERE was the is girl I knew years ago who did not know her father ,,, and then later in life he contacted her ... and the reason he gave for not seeing her or talking with her or being daddy to her ,, was .... Was ... WELL it was that he did not want to rock the boat with his current wife ,,,, the female he had given his honor to his word of love to .... ( the I love you slave effect ) the smile of the woman in your lfie is extremely powerful ,,, one of the cores in TWISTED INSTINCT is that concept the power of weakness , but look to universe and undertand the power fo dark matter versus visible matter the weak forces that are being studied now a days .... So many times lately I think about the idea was I hiding when I wrote about the POLY ,,, was I living without commitment ? no I the idea of poly needs extreme commitment on the part of a good man ......... not getting totally tied to just one person ... but is being tied to just 1 person reality or fairy tale ,,,, I love my woman my children my family all in their own way ....... The dream about 1 and 1 meeting and becoming this tory book of love that in reality ,,, in reality ... in reality ... know one can find ........ hmmm interesting .. ( reality no one can find , you really gotta look at all those happy marriages you think you know are happy and look deeply at them ) so , my Debbie and I said we would become DOM/sub do ,, not! .. do the same old thing , but I let us down and I did not lead ... I did not have the guts to chance not seeing her smile ... I did not rust her devotion ,, a devotion I do not understand .... A devotion I have never seen or experienced in my past form any ... any ... ANY other female towards a male , ( this includes my mom to my dad a couple who from the outside looked like they lived the FIARY TALE , AND FROM THE INSIDE OF THE FAMILY HONESTLY THEIR LIFE WAS VERY CLOSE TO FAIRY TALE LIFE OF HAPPY EVER AFTER .... ONLY because dad was an I love you slave and very happy ... they were just lucky and from an age that divorce was ont common so they made it . )
So ..... the DOM lives his ideas of what life should be and he depends on the subbie to find happiness her own happiness in seeing his ( mine ) ... HIS DREAMS COMING TRUE ..... with that in my mind as my new fairy tale ..... when I say a I WANT YOU TO ... and I get what I want I smile ,,, and then a day or two later it changes ,, my expectation is not met ,, ( even though she thought she did something ,,, her ideas ... not mine .. hers ) my expectation not met ......hmmmm what to do what do say the male in me ,, how to motivate her to get it ..... that what I want may have many different aspects in the want .... Her beeinfits my bennifits ... but in the end ,, is the trust that what I wanted will be what I get , so that I can live my life without to much stress with out her actions being another viariable ..... som one else I have to woryy about letting me down ,,, it is enough that my employees willl let me down and I fire them in droves if I do not get the inner motivations form them ,,,, I am let down by my children because they children only visitors who share my life for a few years ( 18 ) , by friends and family .. by customers and event he stores and restaurants I frequent ..... all the world is a variable ... and when you have a girl a subbie a slave ? ( the salve of BDSM is a slave of choice ,,, a pride in their service and status ) a girl who is also a vairiable that all to often when you say ,,, iwant you to ,,, in reality it will be changed into her ideas ,, to the point that I do not want to have my ideas changed questioned to the point I do not want to talk .... ( felt that in us especially when it comes to her business ,, her business ...her and it should be hers ..... and that bing the case the DOM/sub life should be seprated just o insure the buck of hers is not brought into the rest of the relationship destroying everything ............ ) oh this concept of this problem of going form just GREAT SEX PLAY into 24/7 realtionships and respecting the individuals self determination , the subbie's Dom in their world out side of the DOM/sub and how that can fuck up the good life each othe lovers want ,, the DOM and the subbie .... Ohh young master so much to think about to realize to remember to fail at ... nad then to learn form and start over and over and voer ....
